If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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