the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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