i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize