Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
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I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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