I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize