when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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