I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize