my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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