I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize