Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
and you fell through a lawn chair
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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