saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
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Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
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He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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