At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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