The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like death gave me a hand job
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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