How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize