i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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