I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
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But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
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I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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