is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize