I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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