You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize