mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
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its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
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It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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