i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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