you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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