If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
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Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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