I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
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Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
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We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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