and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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