Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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