my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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