ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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