I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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