I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I puked a lego.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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