He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
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