Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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