Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
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She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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