on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
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so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
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Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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