he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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