Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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