Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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