So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize