I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
kristin has been a bad kristin
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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