my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
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at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
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Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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