just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
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I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
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I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize