What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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