no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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