I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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