Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
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i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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