Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
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i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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