ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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