Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
false alarm, still single
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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