I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize