Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
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I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
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Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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